Saturday, July 25, 2009

The Anti-Psalm 23

David Powlison writes an inversion of the great Psalm 23 in an article @

Here is the darkest song I've ever heard:
I'm on my own.
No one looks out for me or protects me.
I experience a continual sense of need. Nothing's quite right.
I'm always restless. I'm easily frustrated and often disappointed.
It's a jungle — I feel overwhelmed. It's a desert — I'm thirsty.
My soul feels broken, twisted, and stuck. I can't fix myself.
I stumble down some dark paths.
Still, I insist: I want to do what I want, when I want, how I want.
But life's confusing. Why don't things ever really work out?
I'm haunted by emptiness and futility — shadows of death.
I fear the big hurt and final loss.
Death is waiting for me at the end of every road,
but I'd rather not think about that.
I spend my life protecting myself. Bad things can happen.
I find no lasting comfort.
I'm alone ... facing everything that could hurt me.
Are my friends really friends?
Other people use me for their own ends.
I can't trust anyone. No one has my back.
No one is really for me — except me.
And I'm so much all about ME, sometimes it's sickening.
I belong to no one except myself.
My cup is never quite full enough. I'm left empty.
Disappointment follows me all the days of my life.
Will I just be obliterated into nothingness?
Will I be alone forever, homeless, free-falling into void?
Sartre said, "Hell is other people."
I have to add, "Hell is also myself."
It's a living death,
and then I die.
What song are you singing?

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

And the Winner is.....

I have been having some serious browser issues lately.

Just like everyone else, I grew up (since the internet started in the early 90's) using Internet Explorer. This was fine. I didn't know any better, didn't know any different. For many years there was nothing different. So I blithely went along with IE until I very slowly and somewhat reluctantly (I am a rare early adopter) made the switch to Firefox while in seminary, around 2003 I believe. I don't even think I had seen it until one of my roommates showed me the light.

Since then, I love Firefox. I have loved how far superior it is to IE for so long, and all the add-ons and customization. It's been a wonderful 6 years together so far, it really has.

However, lately, Firefox has been letting me down. It uses so much RAM, even for a single tab, that it will at times force me to shut it down just to clear some room for the next page. But that is not even the worst part. Now, every time I load the browser, for about 2 and a half minutes it completely hogs all CPU, virtually making the computer unusable, after which it runs normal - which is to say it slowly uses all the other resources. I have tried just about everything for these issues, even completely wiping my install and starting over with no add-ons... no dice.

I got so frustrated with Firefox that I even tried making the switch back to IE with their new piece of garbage, IE8. It started out OK, until of course it never worked. 7 out of 10 times it would simply refuse to connect to a server. Had a headache or something I guess... whatever, that got tired real quick and IE8 was kicked to the curb with its garbage predecessor.

I was so desparate, I even downloaded SAFARI, and I am an avowed MAC hater... this shows how bad things had truly gotten. But I must say that Safari, for being all Mac and crap, was not terrible. It was definitely NOT the fastest broswer, as advertised, but apart from it's poor layout, (which for mac users is probably home) it got the job done. But I just couldn't stomach using it... I barely kept lunch down installing the thing...

Enter my knight in shining armor... Goggle Chrome.

I never would have guessed it, but this has been the best upgrade I could have asked for. It runs on almost no RAM (like 30K for each instance or tab, not bad at all). It uses very little CPU, even to render heavy pages. It's fast. It is by far the best browser I have used to date. I have to give great thanks and kudos to my brother from another mother Aron for pointing me in this direction. So far it is the clear winner. All the best add-ons I would need to install on Firefox are already in Chrome without the extra weight. When you're not using it, it basically doesn't exist as far as your computer is concerned. It's been a great experience so far and I am almost completely on board the Google gravytrain. I recommend you jump on for a ride!

But now, Firefox has release 3.5 .... What to do?
I will have to download it and give it a test drive, but it will be hard pressed, even after 6 years of loving companionship, to get me to come back at this point. Hard pressed indeed.