Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Three weeks in...

Alright, I lied - something other than baby pictures...
I promised some commentary on Fatherhood early on, so I better give it before I forget about it. My experience is limited, so my comments are merely observational at this point.

First of all, this is the coolest thing ever. This little baby is amazing! She is so great, so cute, so fun! Everything about her just continues to marvel and amaze us; from her tiny little feet and hands to her ever changing expression and litany of different sounds that she makes. She rarely cries, and is a very content little girl.

As far as my own emotional experience, I can say that I was not prepared for the range and array of emotions that I felt when I first met little Abby. I mean, I knew I would feel joy and I knew I would be happy, but I could not have anticipated the depth and the breadth of the emotions. It was like a new section of my emotions opened up that just wasn't there before. It's kind of weird actually. I just never knew I could love someone in this way before. Now, I love my wife more than anything, and this new love dos not rival that per say, but it is radically different and very intense - and I think it is so because of this next bit...

See, as I said, I was ready for a certain level of joy and happiness when I met my daughter, but what I was NOT ready for - and this really took me by surprise - what I was not ready for was the intense sense of FEAR that overwhelmed me, mingled with the joy and love that was inexpressible. I'm still not certain of the source of that fear... I know it wasn't a fear of her, of handling her, or breaking her, or anything like that... I think it had more to do with the life, and the soul, that is being firmly placed, irrevocably and quite literally, into my hands, and the knowledge that I will one day give an account for it. That is a heavy weight, but one that comes with immeasurable perks...

Her smile, for instance.

2 comments:

Kyle said...

great post, Greg. I'm glad things are going so well. And despite the fact that I think she favors you, she's cute!

Grammy! said...

Well, it is quite amazing now is'nt it! Now you will see where we as parents have been for the past 30 years or so. But be encouraged, God is still on the throne, and will teach you many more things through this little one yet in the years to come. Enjoy each and every moment he has given you with her, for they are precious! Remember above all that you and Nat are her first teachers and she will learn much more from your actions than from your words! I am looking forward to enjoying her with you! Already I miss her, and absolutely love the pictures!