Hilarous - Church Bulletin Mistakes

I don't know if you've seen these before. It was a first for me.
I've only posted the ones I thought were too funny not to... enjoy.

Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Our youth basketball team is back in action, Wednesday at 8PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening, in the church hall. Music will follow.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope, along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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This evening at 7 PM, there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall, after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
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This is precisely the reason why we go over our announcement sheet several times before print - sometimes that is too bad.